As human beings, we’re always on a quest to find the best of everything in our lives. For some people, that might be seeking out the ideal job. For others, it could mean achieving perfect happiness. But for many, settling down with the right person in a healthy relationship is the main goal – and it isn’t easy to achieve.
If you’ve ever found yourself questioning whether or not your relationship is actually the real deal, you might want to look out for potential indicators of toxic behavior. Here are just eight of them…
1. Passive aggression
If your partner always seems frustrated about something, or indirectly takes things out on you, then you’re very likely at the receiving end of some undeserved passive aggression. If left unaddressed over time, this type of behavior can make the relationship very one-sided, with one person always feeling responsible for anything that goes wrong – even if it’s not their fault in the slightest.
2. Holding the relationship hostage
Saying things such as, “if you don’t do this, I’ll break up with you,” or even more subtle things like, “maybe I should date someone who does this differently” is a cruel way to play with someone’s emotions. If your partner does this, call them out on it. They shouldn’t be using your relationship to manipulate you in any way.
3. Getting blamed for your partner’s emotions
We’ve all experienced volatile emotions before, but most of us are able to accept that they are our problem and not anyone else’s. So, if you find yourself constantly being told that your other half’s anger or sadness etc. is your fault, something is clearly wrong. They should be able to keep themselves in check, and if you feel like you’re constantly tip-toeing around them for fear of setting them off, something needs to change.
4. Keeping score
Nobody is perfect, so we all end up messing up in a relationship every now and then. However, if your partner excuses their own mistake/bad behavior by bringing up something you did weeks, months or even years ago, that just isn’t fair. Being in a partnership with someone shouldn’t be a competition, so don’t put up with someone else turning it into one.
Obviously, you’re allowed to be a little concerned if your partner spends all their time with their friends – but it’s wrong to be overbearing. Being part of a couple doesn’t mean you should give up the life you had before, but rather that you should make a few compromises.
6. Fixing problems with money
Every now and then, couples are going to run into problems of some sort. They might be big issues, or they might be little ones – but what really matters is how you deal with them. Aside from ignoring them altogether, one of the worst things you can do is try to “fix” a problem by spending loads of money on a gift to make up for it, or taking a trip to get over whatever it was. Just be adults and talk it through – it’ll work out better in the long run.
7. Constant communication
Similar to the jealousy point, communication is obviously important in moderation. However, if your partner is constantly checking in on you, or insisting that you provide them with updates on what you’re doing or who you’re with, then the relationship starts to feel a lot less mutual and a lot more controlling.
8. Sticking it out for the sake of it
If you’ve been together for a while, sometimes the only thing that stops you from breaking up is the thought that it would be a waste of so much time. But if both of you are feeling that way, then you’re going to end up resenting each other more than anything else.
So, if you think your other half is doing any of these things – or even if you’re doing them yourself – fix it before it starts to break down the connection you have.